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    Dominating Dependencies - Part 2

    Now for the heavier hitters, known as Abusers, a number of negative consequences result, regardless of whether or not the alcohol or drugs are taken for positive, negative, any and all reasons. From one to any combination of the following negatives are often reported; negative reoccurrence of the same bad behaviors (maybe broken lamps from tripping instead of lampshades on heads), broken promises and broken limits set beforehand, mental mania or diving into deep subjects (almost in a psychological way), denial (of being drunk or high), crying jag or emotional outbursts, memory loss or confusion, and a lot (repeated) complaints are brought to light after the events by others.
    Drugs and Alcohol Addiction Behaviors / Traits
    Regardless of the type of alcohol or drug dependent person, addiction or dependence is characterized by professional standards according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) (1994). To sum up, the DSM-IV identifies an addict as having three or more of the following “symptoms” within a year’s time period:
    - Mental ideas focused on the substance (alcohol or drugs) even when not using.
    - Withdrawal from society, friends, loved ones, common activities – to focus on continued substance use.
    - Using more than expected
    - Substance abuse even though negative consequences directly result from the abuse (at any level: physical, emotional, social, work-related, etc.)
    - Attempts to stop or “control” use and withdrawal symptoms develop (shakes, hallucinations, cravings, etc.)
    - Tolerance levels can change; i.e. it takes more and more to obtain and sustain a drunk or high state
    Drugs and Alcohol Addiction Help
    Similar to the key to getting aid for co-dependency, the key to getting aid for drug and alcohol addiction is first in acknowledging the problem, then in getting help. Check out library books on co-dependency and to find useful resources. Search the Yellow Pages, online search engines, 12-Step Groups listed in community calendars, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics (or the clear cut drug name like “Cocaine”) Anonymous, etc.
    GAMBLING ADDICTION
    Another top addiction is gambling. In fact, studies including research by the National Gambling Impact Commission express that gambling nationwide affects a minimum of 2.5 million people, over 1 percent of the population. In targeted gambling areas like Las Vegas, over 5 percent of the people are expected to end up having some sort of gambling problems. To aid put those figures into perspective, gambling troubles occur twice as often as cancer and twice as often as cocaine addiction. That’s a LOT of impact.
    And young people battle gambling addiction more than adults. Here are the latest prevalence rates as reported by the National Coalition Against Legalized Gambling, the following are the prevalence rates:
    · 16-24 year old males 4%
    · 11-18 year old males 4-7%
    · National average, all ages 1.2%
    How can you tell if someone is addicted to gambling? Similar to the characteristics noted for other top addictions, the major ones to look out for with gambling follow.
    Signs of a Gambling Addiction
    - Repeated attempts to stop gambling.
    - Serious financial troubles
    - Has unrealistic view of what “life” and “the world” owes you
    - Preoccupation with gambling, lying about it and denying addiction
    Help for Gambling Addiction
    Help is unfortunately often not sought until people hit “rock bottom” or pretty much lose about all they own, owe nearly anybody and about everyone they know (and a lot don’t). Once reality sets in and denial isn’t an issue any longer (and even in some cases where it’s borderline) a nationwide 12-Step program is available, Gamblers Anonymous. Other aid can come from a combination of psychotherapist and / or counselor who helps focus on internal emotional issues, group therapy to interact with fellow addicts in recovery, and inpatient, residential or outpatient care, for short-term and long-term recovery options. You can seek recommendations from your healthcare providers or local hospitals.
    INTERNET ADDICTION
    Even the Internet can be addicting! Although Internet Addiction is not yet an official disorder, obsessive Internet use is a real problem for some today.
    Signs of “Internet Addiction”
    Some signs of trouble are:
    - Using the Internet more and more, while going out into the real world less and less.
    - Checking email too frequently during the day – every day.
    - Going online every day, rarely taking a day off.
    - Sneaking online to sites that you shouldn’t visit.
    - Others say that you're indeed online too much.
    - Sneaking online and checking email when you should be doing other things like working. Arriving before work, staying after work, skipping lunch, avoiding meetings, avoiding co-workers – to use the Internet.
    But there are methods to overcome the trouble spots. Similar to other addiction recovery, realizing there is a problem is the starting point. Facing “why” the escape from the real world is important is next. Then decreasing online activity and replacing it with healthier activities can aid the person obtain back to normal.
    More Help for Internet Addicts
    Ways to aid deal with Internet over-use are to monitor and log use, then set goals for everyday activity in its place and follow up with more monitoring and strategic planning. Being logging “when” you go online and “why” and “where.” Then over time, cut back usage by replacing alternative resources for your attention.
    For example, instead of emailing people all day long, grab the phone and call others. Instead of playing games on Yahoo all night, enable yourself one hour and play solitaire or visit with a neighbor or friend and play a board game like chess. And instead of reading ebooks and forum posts for hours on end, grab some nonfiction self-improvement books, everyday newspapers or in favor magazines and learn more about the industries in your work environment or about nonprofits of interest and how you could join in their causes. Take charge and keep your mind stimulated and yourself active in the real world.
    A counselor recommended by a healthcare provider may be about to aid with this process, too. In this type of addiction, getting online aid is perhaps not a wonderful idea, since the goal is to spend LESS time online. So seek aid from those referred by your local healthcare providers for starters. Monitoring online activity, what triggers jumping online each time, and replacing it with more appropriate, healthier activity is the key to recovery.
    Recovery Tools
    Regardless of the addiction, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, relationships, etc., a 12-step program is the basic tool of a lot recovery programs. The fundamental 12 steps that groups’ members actively stress are as follows, varying in some degree per addiction recovery program. Note that no particular religion or spiritual affiliation is required. All are welcome and invited.
    12-Step Program
    1. We admit we are powerless over our addiction - that our lives have become unmanageable
    2. We believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
    3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
    4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
    5. We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
    6. We are entirely prepared to have God eradicate all these defects of character
    7. We humbly asked God to eradicate our shortcomings
    8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
    9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
    10. We continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it
    11. We seek via prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we comprehend God, praying only for conciousness of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
    12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
    Basically members recite the steps at their meetings. And there may be a presentation or group discussion based upon one particular step that day, with the rest of the event focused on individual requirements or issues that are brought up by members, so that each member gets to address his or her top or immediate concerns, seek aid and aid others to obtain through, “One day at a time.”
    OTHER RECOVERY TOOLS
    Here are more tools to help with restoring from addictions, listed in no particular order.
    Internal Motivators– Many decide to kick their addictions based upon interior motives like love, a sense of achievement, competition, responsibility and a number of other reasons. A love for a child can make some stop the denial way dead in its tracks, allowing recovery to step in. Watching a close friend or relative who is farther along the addictive path of destruction can also be an eye-opener, resulting in some addicts adopting the “I can do it” attitude to kick the habit. Some simply want their own self-respect back and respect from others. While other addicts prefer better health and a sharper mental state, and decide to overcome their addictions and recover. Regardless of the reasons, internal motivators can be welcome stepping-stones in the path of recovery.
    External Motivators - Other motivators along the technique are external, like money, work, housing, etc. For example, an addict is generally well concious of the money required for the continued buying of the addictive substances. Someone not used to living in less desirable conditions because income is lacking, may not need much of a jolt of reality other than the first eviction notice, to spur him or her to quit spending hard-earned wealth on drugs, gambling, porn or cigarettes, etc. And some who may really value their jobs and are striving to maintain wonderful work standards and ethics, may observe reality when they are passed over for a promotion or annual raise because of tardiness, sloppiness, mishandling of money, etc., and may seek aid to obtain their work act together promptly.
    To aid with internal and motivators, addicts and their support people can resort to recovery tools like books, videos, movies, restoring music, speakers and events focused on addiction and recovery. A wonderful place to commence is at your own local library or favorite bookstore. Online you could search Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble (BN.com) or even your favorite search engine. Type in terms like “addiction recovery” and / or contribute the addictive substance or behavior (“gambling recovery” “overcoming cigarette addiction”).
    Recovery Books
    Some in favor recovery books are:
    Addiction & Recovery for Dummies, by Brian F. Shaw, Paul Ritvo, Jane Irvine, M. David Lewis; For Dummies; (December 13, 2004).
    7 Tools to Beat Addiction, by Stanton PHD Peele; Three Rivers Press; (July 27, 2004).
    The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior, by Craig Nakken; Hazelden Publishing & Educational Services; 2nd edition (September 1, 1996).
    The Addiction Workbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Quitting Alcohol and Drugs (New Harbinger Workbooks), by Patrick Fanning, John T. O'Neill, John O'Neill; New Harbinger Publications; (June 1, 1996).
    Bridges to Recovery : Addiction, Family Therapy, and Multicultural Treatment, by Jo-ann Krestan; Free Press; (March 15, 2000).
    For online chat rooms and message boards where recovering addicts seek fellowship, simply type “recovery message board” or “recovery chat room” in your favorite search engine. Include clear cut addictions like gambling and cocaine for more focused groups.
    Intervention
    Another in favor recovery tool is called an intervention. An intervention generally refers to a planned gathering of people who know the addict and want to offer support and intervene to stop the addiction. Friends, family, co-workers, church members or in short close contacts meet and gently confront the person with the addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex or other behavior or substance addiction.
    It is believed that by close contacts sharing their personal feelings and ideas for the addict’s well being, the addict will feel safer and confront denial issues, opening up a pathway for recovery and healing. By actually being with so a lot caring people, the addict may also become motivated to seek aid and change, and realize that he or she hasn’t faked everyone out with lies about the addiction. Many want to seek aid so that they are not alone in their struggle any longer, preferring recovery and health instead.
    The intervention team becomes part of their support network. Each member shares his or her own experiences with the addict and the troubles arising from the addiction. And in turn, each shares their love, support and encouragement for recovery as well as any restoring resources or tools they may have. For example, maybe one member who faced similar addiction issues found aid from a local 12-step program and therapist, and brought the meeting information (location and times) plus the therapist’s phone number alone to share.
    Trained people are also obtainable to aid groups with interventions. Some go via a 3-stage intervention program.
    Stage I - This focuses on telephone coaching over the phone. A trained professional helps you build a foundation with hope and figure out whom to ask to join in an intervention plan. They also aid strategize – gather the intervention team together, educate about goals and overall plan, and aid with getting the addict to the intervention meeting the first time.
    Stage II – This stage generally begins if no treatment has yet kicked into place after Stage I. Generally, the major person in charge of gathering the intervention team together meets with the professionally trained counselor obtain together for strategy planning about a half-dozen times. Note that the addict is not present at these. Goals are to educate, support and develop a scheme of action that includes restoring treatment with the one seeking aid for the addict first.
    Stage III – At this point, other intervention team members are brought in and counseled. And the addict is invited to the meetings where intervention members share their new boundaries and coping skills with the addict (if he or she comes along). The intervention members’ love and support are demonstrated more than once, and by now the addict has had multiple opportunities to penetrate recovery and treatment but has not yet taken the plunge to seek help.
    Results with this 3-stage program are long-term aid for not only the addict, but the support people as well. The addict is generally removed or placed outside the dysfunctional family environment. And both family and addict learn healthier behaviors, communication and coping skills. For more information about interventions, contact:
    Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery
    Outpatient Center
    5409 N. Knoxville Ave.
    Peoria, IL 61614
    1-800-522-3784

    Check with your libraries and bookstores for useful intervention books. Here are a couple of in favor ones:
    - Crisis Intervention Strategies (with InfoTrac) (Counseling Series)
    by Richard K. James, Burl E. Gilliland Richard K. James, Burl E. Gilliland; Wadsworth Publishing; 4 edition (August 10, 2000).
    - A Guide to Crisis Intervention, by Kristi Kanel; Wadsworth Publishing; 2 edition (February 21, 2002).
    And check out what resources National Intervention Referral has obtainable in your area by contacting them at (800) 399- 3612 (24 hours / 7 days), or by visiting them at and filling out their online form www.nationalinterventionreferral.org .

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